It's Okay To Reach Out 

By Maria Davies

Everyone struggles through life at certain points. Some can take the stress on board and carry it well, while others get weighed down and find it hard to pick themselves back up. Neither is right, neither is better. It’s just different people experiencing different things. If you’re facing unbearable trials anf tribulations in your life right now, and you feel like you are suffocating and there's no way out, it might be time you reach out for professional support, to support groups or even talk to a loved one that may understand you.

Signs you might need support:

1. Your thoughts are overwhelming in a way that they begin to mess with your everyday life. If you’re finding it hard to focus on work, meet deadlines, attend planned events, remember personal dates (birthdays, anniversaries etc) then your mind might be too busy to have the space to function how you have done before. It’s not a bad thing to reach out for help.

2. You find it difficult to take care of yourself. If you have no motivation nor desire to keep yourself clean, getting enough rest, you need to know it's okay to put yourself first. Your mental health matters, it's okay to reach out. 

3. Your emotions are overwhelming. This could mean you’re crying more than you can fathom, or you feel numb. If you feel yourself and feelings start to make you hurl, it's okay to work on your happiness and reach out for support. 

Support and Resources are available if ever need to reach out. Reach out to the friends and family that would want to listen to you speak about all that’s going on in your life. It's okay not to be okay, and reach out.

There is always someone to talk to, and it's okay you can also reach out to us @thereistimepoetry. Someone will listen and they will definitely care. 

A GENTLE REMINDER TO CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF

By Maria Davies 

Keeping up with your mental health can be quite challenging sometimes, and often times, therapy and medication isn't the best fit for everyone. However, even if you feel as though you can handle your thoughts and feelings well, it’s still important to check in with yourself and take some time out to really understand your thoughts, feelings and what mental health state you are currently battling and how you can improve it, to make life better for you. 

There’s nothing wrong with telling those around you that you want even just 1 hour out of your day to be by yourself, and re-evaluate how you’re feeling. Are you happy? Has anything bothered you recently? Could you feel better if something changed?

In your ‘me time’ - take part in activities that you enjoy, whatever that may be. Stay in touch with what makes you, you. Keep up with hobbies that make you happy so that you have an escape from anything stressful that you know will always make you feel that bit more relaxed. Also, if you wanted to try new ideas, here are:

- Listen to a mental health podcast

- Watch a movie you’ve never seen before

- Read a book that intrigues you

- Go for a jog

- Copy a YouTube dance routine and have fun with it!

- Write down your feelings 

- Start a puzzle

- Replay a video game and go for a different ending, if possible. 

There’s so much importance behind all these moments, as it’s not just a point of being ‘selfish’ or ‘lazy’. It’s actually strong and smart if you actively focus on your mindset and try to put yourself first as you’ll only do your best in life if your headspace is clear and understood by you. 

If you want more blogs like this feel free to send a message! Thanks so much for reading, from this account and @thereistimepoetry. Thank you!

MYTHS ABOUT DEPRESSION THAT NEED SQUASHING

By Maria Davies

There are so many people out there battling depression and anxiety, and I am one of them. It's a tough journey and sometimes can be a lonely one too. If you are reading this and you are battling depression and anxiety, I wish peace and love for you, and may you always remember that you matter, you are enough and you are not alone.

The sad reality is that there's so much stigma around mental health and depression. Suffering, living with a mental health illness and having depression is sadly not something that is taken seriously in society in today's world. If you suffer with the stigma around mental health and depression, may you know and understand that no one has the right to tell you what you’re going through isn’t valid or real. Your struggle is valid. 

Here are some of the myths on depression that are absolutely abstractions without any concrete reality.

Myth 1 - Depression has to be only caused by abuse and trauma. That’s not true. Yes abuse and trauma are one of the causes that lead to depression, and so is loss. Depression will and can latch onto anyone, people can be and are allowed to be sad for no reason, it's not always about having to experience a major life crisis like traumatic experiences to make you depressed. If you’re struggling with your mental health even though everything in your life seems to be going well to other people, that’s okay - you’re not doing anything wrong. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit when you’re low - it’s brave. 

Myth 2 - Depressed people don't have the strength to remain hygienic. This myth is ridiculous. You can not base someone’s depression on how clean or untidy they are. People with depression sometimes find it hard to stay on top of their hygiene. People with depression can also maintain their hygiene. You never know what’s happening behind closed doors and if someone tells you they have depression, don’t question them, validate it. 

Myth 3 - Depressed people are suicidal and they want to die. There are people out there who suffer with suicidal thoughts, however on the other hand, there are people who have depression who deal with their thoughts differently, and thrive to get better. They hope for a better tomorrow. Depressed people do and can have fun. 

All you can do to help someone with depression is be there for them. Offer to listen, ask if they want support and resources. If you are battling with depression, do whatever is best for you and your mental health. You can partake on activities you enjoy, and live for you and no one else. 

If you want more blogs about depression let me know! The dm’s are always open! Thank you.

TIPS ON COPING WITH ANXIETY

By Maria Davies

Anxiety Disorder can be so frustrating and extremely hard to deal with, especially for those that experience it on a daily basis. It can affect anyone, and all ages, beginning from childhood, and can stay for a lifetime. The struggle is real, and sometimes we lose ourselves. Whatever phase and battle you are dealing with right now, you must know, you matter and there's hope. 

Some of the remedies I personally recommend to battle depression are:

Getting Support - Support Groups and experts are one of the best ways to engage on if it comes to a point where you feel too much suffocation on fighting alone.

Smell Your Favourite Scent - one of the best ways to calm your nerves and panic attacks, is to smell your favourite something, or get something small like a piece of fabric, a small teddy, flowers, or the rain. It can be anything in fact, as long as you like the smell. Just be careful not to inhale something you are allergic to.

Mindfulness - often anxiety succeed in making us think there’s no way out, but that's not a reality to be accepted, we can survive. Meditation works incredibly for some people, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. If you’ve never meditated before, a simple way to start out would be to sit down, shut your eyes, breathe in through your nose, hold it a few seconds, then breathe out. Keep feeding your mind the mantra, 'everything will be okay', and 'i am powerful'. 

Thank you for reading! If you tried out one of these, send me a text message, telling me about it! Thank you all and will be back with a new article soon! For more information you can find me on Instagram @thereistime

BREAKING THE STIGMA AROUND OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER

By Maria Davies

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, otherwise famously known as OCD, is a mental health disorder that features a pattern of unwanted thoughts and fears leading to repetitive behaviors which causes a lot of distress. It is a mental health condition a lot of people struggle with, and battle, on daily basis. There’s no ‘cure’ as such for it, but psychotherapy and medication such as antidepressants, plays a huge role to help curb the cycle on OCD. It is common to assume that OCD is only all about being a neat and clean freak, however, OCD does not limit to being a clean freak. 

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a very serious issue, and for a better understanding of the disorder, I bring to light the different types of it.

1. Contamination OCD - is the subtype that is seen as ‘typical OCD’. The fear of mess, dirty objects, and unclean hands (obsessively washing them), extreme housework (continuous cleaning of furniture etc). People who deal with this are not 'perfectionists', as they’re usually labelled as. They are battling with a mental health condition, be kind and understanding towards them. The mental strain and pressure from constant worrying and compulsions to ‘decontaminate’ everything around them is a 24/7, relentless, unforgiving task. Everyone is different, but generally, I would say the best way to help someone who has these thoughts is to respect their wishes if they ask you not to touch something for example, and don’t act judgemental towards them. 

2. Order or Symmetry Compulsions - is yet another type of OCD. So many people get told they’re being picky, they’re exaggerating, they’re exhausting, or high maintenance. They cannot help what goes on in their head, and if their mind is screaming at them because something isn’t 100% even or symmetrical, that’s not their fault. It’s also not as easy as just saying to them “don’t look at it then” if something has bothered them. Once someone has seen it, usually it will not get out of their head until the problem has been rectified. It may seem small to you, but to them, it’s an overwhelming wave that they cannot get rid of or ignore. Be patient with them, everyone deserves to be listened to. 

3. Checking OCD - the one that I personally struggle with. It's mentally exhausting. If someone has checking OCD, you may notice them: 

- Touching something a certain number of times

- Looking or ‘staring’ at something for a long period of time.

- Obsessively rechecking the same thing over and over again, (example, “do I have my phone? Yes there it is. Wait, do I have my phone? Yes it’s still here. Wait…”)  

When dealing with this, it often feels like a massive mind game, like your own head is playing tricks with you. To help someone struggling with this, don’t make them feel silly or inadequate. The best way to end the stigma? Don’t react in a way that make people feel judged or anxious. Leave them be. 

4. Harm OCD - is really difficult. For people who don’t understand it, they may hear someone talking of it, and think they’re dangerous. It’s very likely not to be the case. They’re typically so worried about causing harm that they’re doing everything they can to make sure they don’t do that, to the point where they’re looking deep into every tiny detail and overthinking into sometimes exaggerated and ‘made up’ situations. For example, someone with this may panic that they’ve stopped a child from breathing. If you were to hear this in public, it’s normal for you to worry and wonder what’s happened. However, often times nothing of the sort has happened at all. In reality, the individual may have sat close to the child and ‘felt’ as though they were squishing them, and the OCD compulsive thoughts are telling that person “you’ve stopped them from breathing by doing that”. That individual will then go down a spiral of blaming themselves and feeling like an abusive person; when really they’ve done nothing wrong. 

OCD is not only about being clean. That’s a tiny part of this very complex disorder. 1 in 40 people are estimated to struggle with OCD in their lifetime, so to keep humanity’s kindness and accepting nature flowing, we should all make the conscious effort to understand and education ourselves on this very real issue. I’m very appreciative when someone is supportive with my OCD, and I would love for others to feel that same support too. 

If you think you’re struggling with OCD, don’t be afraid to reach out. There’s more subtypes to OCD than I’ve talked about in this article, so don’t shy away from doing your own research on the topic! Don’t be afraid, stand strong and face it, take control of your life because it is YOUR LIFE! If anyone wants to discuss OCD in more detail feel free to message the account - and if you’ve found any of this helpful feel free to let us know! 

Thank you for reading, another blog will be released soon - your support is amazing! 

Let’s heal together. 

Thank you!

ACCEPTING WHEN YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

By Maria Davies

No one ever wants to ever feel like they’re not good enough. No one want the feelings of helplessness and instability, an impulse that there’s no ‘light at the end of the tunnel’.

I'm a firm believer that, there’s actually strength in showing weakness. Being honest with yourself about how you feel, automatically eradicate negative feelings like shame. In healing and recovery, there's no hiding any parts of yourself, you come as you are so you can have a better understanding on where you need healing and change. The first step in recovery is to acknowledge that something is hurting you, and that something needs to change in your life. Healing is not a linear process, and takes hardwork and a countless relapses, don’t panic if you temporarily feel better only to relapse again, or when it feels like there's no change. Healing takes time, it is a process. Don't lose hope. Be patient and give yourself time. You can’t rush healing, you need to consistently work on yourself. It’s the best routine or habit you could ever fall into, as you will never in your life regret putting yourself and happiness first. 

Below are some of the ways I've managed to use in order to cope with excessive stress and anxiety, remedies that you can also try on:

1. Reach Out. Talk to some you can trust, a friend, spouse, colleague, expert, anyone that you feel at ease with. Saying what is bothering you out loud to someone can feel extremely therapeutic, and it helps to take off the pressure on shoulder. You are not a burden, you are not a nuisance, it's easier to get support if you tell people how they can help you. 

2. Explore Nature! Take a walk, don’t set a timeout, just walk, explore and get lost in the beauty of rivers, lakes, hills, flowers and the sky. Get lost on your surroundings, you can even make a game out of it! How many birds can you count? Try to find 3 caterpillars. How many clouds look like food?

3. Practise Some Self-care! This is often overlooked. It sounds small but the effectiveness is worth it. Do a face mask, run a bubble bath and light up the candles light a candle, and use lavender, chamomile, orange, sandalwood, clary sage, and lemon. Take some time to yourself, by yourself, to really think. What could make me happy? What can I do to eliminate some of the stress in my life? How do I want this day to go, or the week, or the month. Make it happen, try for no one other than you. You deserve all the happiness you can get. 

You can always talk to a doctor or an expert if you’re struggling - they’re there to listen and help us better navigate through life.

Thank you for reading, and if you’d like more tips like these ones, I’ve definitely got more I can share! Let us know your feedback and if it’s requested we can post another blog like this one! Thank you all.

Beyond the Likes: Understanding the Effects of Social Media on Our Mental Health

By Tatiana Evangelani Songo

In a world where connection is just a click away, social media has revolutionised how we interact, learn, and express ourselves. Yet, as we delve deeper into the digital realm, the question arises: is our mental well-being paying the price for this virtual revolution?

Social media has allowed people of diverse racial backgrounds, socioeconomic classes, and experiences to interact and express themselves by creating a global virtual community with shared interests. We can virtually attend lectures and business meetings, stay in touch with friends and family locally and around the globe, and operate online enterprises that cater to a global consumer base.

Moreover, social media allows people to share their political views, build their civic identities, and learn about different ideas and cultures without worrying about criticism from offline social circles. For instance, making friends and collaborating with coworkers from distant locations via social media has broadened our understanding of various cultures and racial backgrounds,

However, in the face of these benefits and plenty of others not mentioned here, one concern remains: is social media good for our mental well-being? This question has gained significance with the global increase in social media usage. Studies have found that spending too much time on social media can make you feel lonely, inadequate, anxious, and depressed. Recent studies suggest that people who frequently use social media feel more depressed and less satisfied with life than those who spend more time on non-screen-related activities. It's difficult to say for sure if social media directly leads to depression. However, there are several ways that social media use could be detrimental to our well-being.

This article will delve into the negative consequences of excessive social media use, including distorted self-perception, and cyberbullying. Solutions for maintaining mental well-being in the digital age will also be offered.

Social media and self-perception

Constant exposure to social media has facilitated a distorted view of ourselves, leading to detrimental effects on our mental well-being. Scrolling through our feeds, we are bombarded with flawless images and narratives of others' achievements, travels, and happy moments. This constant comparison to others can result in feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and even depression.

The polished and romanticised versions of others' lives we encounter on social media platforms can create unrealistic standards and expectations for our lives. We may perceive our accomplishments, experiences, and appearance as falling short compared to what we see online. This constant exposure to seemingly perfect lives leads to a negative self-image, where we become dissatisfied with ourselves and take for granted our achievements. Thus, social media can instigate pressure to conform to specific standards regarding appearance, behaviour, career, relationships, financial status, and possessions. This pressure may drive individuals to engage in potentially harmful behaviours to pursue an unrealistic ideal.

We may feel like we need to do more, have enough, or be good enough compared to others.

This constant pursuit of external validation and the belief that happiness and fulfilment lie in achievements or possessions can lead to a never-ending cycle of striving for more and feeling like we constantly fail to live up to our expectations.

Additionally, the pursuit of likes, comments, and followers on social media can become a source of distress and anxiety. Gaining more likes or follows might feel like an endless quest, and it is emotionally draining. Emptiness or disappointment can result from this continual desire for approval or recognition, damaging our self-esteem.

So, it is crucial to practice self-care, be mindful of our social media usage, recognise the curated nature of what we see, and consciously challenge comparisons. Practising gratitude for the positive aspects of our lives and focusing on our personal growth and well-being can help shift our mindset toward self-acceptance. Remembering that social media is just a highlight reel, not a complete reflection of reality, can help us maintain a healthier perspective and cultivate a positive self-image based on our unique qualities and strengths.

Building a solid support network offline, engaging in activities that bring us joy and fulfilment, and seeking professional help when needed are also essential steps in improving our self-esteem and overall mental well-being.

Cyberbullying and harassment

Social media platforms have raised significant concerns regarding privacy and surveillance due to their collection of vast amounts of personal data. People's mental health may be significantly impacted by this ongoing surveillance, which can result in increased anxiety, self-censorship, and a generalised feeling of being watched all the time.

The knowledge that our personal information is being collected, analysed, and potentially used for targeted advertising or other purposes can create feelings of unease and invasion of privacy, contributing to hyper-vigilance and anxiety about how our online activities may be perceived or used against us.

Furthermore, social media platforms can provide a breeding ground for cyberbullying and online harassment. Individuals may become targets of negative comments, trolling, or intimidation, leading to constant fear, shame, and isolation. The impact of such harmful behaviour can be severe, causing emotional distress, anxiety, and even depression. In some cases, cyberbullying has tragically led to suicide, highlighting the devastating consequences of online harassment on individuals' mental health.

One concerning aspect of social media is the lack of empathy some users display. Behind the anonymity and distance provided by screens, individuals may engage in mercilessly tearing through others' self-esteem, making cruel and inappropriate comments without remorse. Social media platforms can become a haven for mean-spirited people, sociopaths, and various other predators who take advantage of the digital space to inflict harm on others. This reality underscores the fact that these platforms are not entirely safe for vulnerable individuals, including children and those who may be less digitally literate.

Furthermore, social media frequently lacks a secure environment for individuals to freely express themselves without fearing unsolicited opinions, harsh judgment, or unwarranted criticism. The constant barrage of opinions and comments can undermine self-confidence, discourage authentic self-expression, and lead to self-censorship. This stifling of individuality may compel individuals to conform or hide their true selves.

To address these concerns, social media platforms must invest in robust privacy measures and enforce strict policies against cyberbullying and online harassment. Users must remain vigilant about online presence, practise digital self-care, and engage in healthy online behaviours. Building a support network, both online and offline, can also provide individuals with the necessary resources and emotional support to navigate social media challenges.

Additionally, fostering digital literacy and promoting empathy and kindness within online communities is essential to creating a safer and more empathetic environment. By encouraging responsible online behaviour, promoting positive engagement, and raising awareness about the potential impact of our words and actions, we can strive towards cultivating a more inclusive and supportive digital landscape.

Activating the Warrior Within: Toughening Your Spirit in Difficult Times

In the tumultuous journey of life, we all encounter moments when the weight of the world seems unbearable, when adversity knocks on our door, and when we question our resilience. It's during these tough times that we must learn to activate the warrior within us, to toughen our spirit and rise above the challenges that surround us. Here are some deep and timely pieces of advice to help you navigate these trying moments:

1. Embrace Adversity as a Teacher:

The first step in activating your inner warrior is to change your perspective on adversity. Instead of seeing it as an enemy, view it as a wise teacher. Every hardship has something valuable to offer, be it lessons in patience, courage, or resilience. Embrace these lessons with an open heart and mind.

2. Cultivate Mental Resilience:

Building mental resilience is akin to forging armor for your spirit. Practice mindfulness, meditation, or journaling to foster mental clarity and inner strength. These practices can help you stay centered and focused when the going gets tough.

3. Harness the Power of Self-Belief:

Your belief in yourself is a potent weapon in the battle against adversity. Remind yourself of past triumphs and moments of resilience. Trust in your abilities to overcome challenges, and let that self-belief be a guiding light in dark times.

4. Seek Inspiration from Role Models:

   Look to historical figures, contemporary heroes, or even your personal role models who have faced adversity head-on. Their stories can be a wellspring of inspiration, showing you that the human spirit can overcome even the most formidable obstacles.

5. Connect with Your Inner Values:

Your core values act as a compass in difficult times. Reflect on what truly matters to you and use these values to guide your decisions and actions. Living in alignment with your values will give you purpose and strength.

6. Practice Self-Care:

Activating your inner warrior requires taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. Prioritize self-care activities like regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and spending time with loved ones. A healthy body and mind are better equipped to face challenges.

7. Embrace Adaptability:

In a world that is constantly changing, adaptability is a formidable trait. The warrior within can navigate the toughest terrain by being flexible and open to new strategies. Embrace change as an opportunity for growth.

8. Accept Imperfection:

Perfection is an illusion, and the quest for it can be exhausting. Embrace your imperfections and acknowledge that mistakes are stepping stones toward growth. Let go of self-criticism and replace it with self-compassion.

9. Find Strength in Community:

Warriors rarely stand alone. Seek support from friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your struggles and seeking help when needed can fortify your spirit and remind you that you're not alone in your battles.

10. Keep Moving Forward:

The path of the warrior is not without setbacks, but resilience is forged by persevering through adversity. No matter how tough things get, remember that every step forward, no matter how small, brings you closer to victory.

In these challenging times, remember that the warrior within you possesses the strength to face adversity head-on. It's not about avoiding difficulties, but about confronting them with courage, wisdom, and grace. By following these deep and timely pieces of advice, you can activate the warrior within and emerge from tough times even stronger than before.

A WALK WITH GOD CAN AND WILL GET YOU THROUGH ANY STORM 

With Solomon Zikalala

Life struggles are inevitable, and sometimes we go through so much pain that we lose ourselves in the storms, and we feel so alone and lonely to a point where our mental health becomes so drained. Mental Health is Health, and no one deserves to feel alone! We were honoured to have a conversation with Solomon Zikalala on how to survive in life, who has been a great inspiration especially to the youth.

The young happily married born again Christian, doesn't hide his passion for God, and he has great faith that a walk with God does make life more bearable through the storms we face everyday. Let's dive into more details on what the young musician who is also a producer and studio broadcaster had to say on the matter of taking care of your mental health.

To the people who want to reach out but when they do, they are either ridiculed, judged or laughed at, the first thing Mr. Solomon says to them is, "We're sorry they had to go through that, we are sorry they are going through that, may they always know and remember that they are not a burden." He further clarifies that since he's a Christian and he has seen this thing working for him, he encourages people to get Jesus and learn to lean on Him. He is confident that Jesus will never disappoint any person, "Jesus is the one you've got to run to when things are not working, and even when things are great, we still need to run to Him to protect what we have." says, the young musician, in short he says, "Get Jesus and get life." The third thing Mr. Solomon says, is, "It's very important in life to learn to push yourself out of your limits." Sometimes you think you need a certain person to get where you want to be, only to find out that this person doesn't care to consider us in any way. Sometimes the very person you believe has to lift you up, is crushing you down, so the consistent pushing, determination and persistence helps, "consistently push until they believe you are the one." He says, and he furthermore declares that, "don't lose hope, push until your time finally comes. Have the confidence and consistency to push until the rock breaks." He believes that no one and nothing can fight and win against someone who's time has come.

The young musician has a brand, Schools Mission, which is greatly changing lives, so we also took the time to discuss the inspiration behind it, and how mentorship has played a major role in his life in becoming the man that he is today. "Schools Mission is a God given platform for young people. We go to schools and we preach the gospel. God said he wanted to move in schools, to reveal and manifests himself to young people." He said. The priority for the mission is for God to be seen and experienced. On mentorship Solomon is clear that he has gained a lot of knowledge and experience from different people. "For the person that I am today, someone who has really played a major role in what I'm doing, is my biological father, Apostle P. Zikalala." He stated. He was glad to announce that he can't hide the role his father has played in his life, in grooming him, and that he believes so much in the investment his father has made in his life, "He's the first person that God trusted in mentoring me and building me to who I am today." says Solomon. He further mentioned Mr Nqubeko Mbatha who has become a friend and a brother as somebody who also influenced him, and on somebody who is currently mentoring him, whom he's still learning a lot from him and has played a major role in his life he mentioned Apostle M. Simelane.

In conclusion, Mr Solomon is a firm believer that the word of God advocates for mental health. He highlighted 3rd John 1:2, which reads, "Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul." For everyone going through a broken heart, is grieving, feels alone, and is going through hardships in life he gives them Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 which is the answer as to why certain things in our lives are happening, "There's time for everything." And through every storm in life may we never lose faith and hope in God, that He shall sustain us even mentally.